Real Life RPG Read online

  “Is my health going up?” she turned and asked Tabitha. “Did your weak ass Mage cast something on me?”

  “That is just one of my special skills, more defense, more speed, better attack and critical hits land easier just to name a few” I replied as I puffed up my chest a bit.

  “What in the hell does that have to do with my health?” Helga replied angrily.

  “Well you also get 10% more experience with me in your party and you regain health faster out of combat if you are around me” I said as I admired my ring.

  “Well you can stick around then, at least for a little while” Helga said as she put her vial away. As a group we decided to walk towards where we thought the boat would be, my cut of the money had brought me to almost 90 gold which wasn’t bad, even though I had gathered most of it from killing other players. I walked behind the two females, enjoying the view as I could smell salt in the air. We walked onward as the sun started dropping out of the sky relatively unmolested by either the wildlife or other players. I could see the boat, or what passed as a boat, it was just a platform in the water that a man in a comical white suit and captain’s hat stood next to. I could see there were players milling about the boat, obviously trying to get on. As we got closer some type of monster crawled out of the water, well 3 of them did. I wasn’t familiar with these guys but I knew if they were in the game they shouldn’t be here in Mandalo, they were probably the creatures that inhabited one of the coastal towns in the main game, PATRICK must have decided they belonged here or simply gave them a way to swim here. I scanned them.

  These things had weak health stats and they moved poorly on land so I knew I was missing something. I could see a warrior dressed in dark armor charge one of the creatures which blew out a bubble. The warrior foolishly popped the bubble with his sword and then went running around out of control as little tornados swirled around his head. The mercreatures had confusion spells, one hit with one of them your body goes haywire, if you are trying to run sometimes you end up crawling. If you want to go forward sometimes you end up going left or right or even walking backwards. Attacking is out of the question as you could accidentally attack your own party members. Tabitha snuck around towards the back of one of the creatures as they battled it out with the people on shore. The ship Captain looked bored as the creatures did not attack him nor did he try to attack them. Almost all of the 6 players that were around the captain had confusion signs above their head and could not really attack the mercreatures who pressed on. Tabitha finally got up on the one in the rear and sank both of her daggers in its neck. The creature lost 15% of its health and went to blow a bubble, fortunately Tabitha was two quick and darted over to the next one where she also sank her daggers in deep. Helga went storming behind the first creature Tabitha attacked and struck a blow that brought the creature down to 10% health as Tabitha ran into a bubble trying to dodge. Tabitha swung her knives and her head around violently trying to connect with anything as Helga slew the first creature. The creature fell, left behind a treasure sack then rose again, although looking a lot more decrepit. The creature attacked the other two as Tabitha started taking big hits on her health. Helga finished off another monster just as Tabitha snapped out of her confusion. That creature rose again also as Helga became a victim to the confusion spell. The remaining creature struck a good hit on Helga before it died, poisoning her but leveling me up to level 10. Helga sighed as she saw she had no antidote and started stripping off all of her items and handing them over to Tabitha as her life points took a dive. Before she died I had quite the show, well me and the six others who were practically on death’s door themselves. Tabitha eyed the men and looked back at me and got a gleam in her eye. They had all lost considerable health and none were a level 10 yet, they must have just been exploring and found the boat. Tabitha’s daggers flashed in her hands as she went around killing the surprised other players. By the time they knew they were under attack three of them had died while the other three banded together daring her to attack. Tabitha smiled as her level hit 10 and went to ransack the goodie bag left by the dead players. It was getting darker now as the other three beat a retreat.

  “What the hell was that with the monsters” Tabitha said as she counted her loot.

  “The ring I got from the rogues let me raise zombies, well for a little bit at least” I replied looking smug.

  “Well its fucking creepy, don’t do it again, I’d rather die than fight with a damn Zombie” Tabitha said bursting my bubble. We sat in silence as Helga finally made it back, the sky now completely dark. I waited as Tabitha gave her back her items then we went to talk to the ship’s captain, who was standing there as usual looking bored.

  “We want to get off this island” Tabitha said as she stood in front of the man.

  “That’ll be fifty gold a piece, if you even meet the level requirement” the man replied as he let out a yawn, his teeth impossibly white.

  “We have your money and we are all level ten” Tabitha replied as the man yawned again.

  “It’s kinda dark, come back in the morning or pay me 75 gold per person” the ship captain said as I scanned him and found out he was a level 20 like most of the guards.

  “How much money do you have Fool” Tabitha said as she looked my way.

  “It don’t matter I am not giving up any money” I replied as I counted out 75 Gold and put it in the ship captain’s hand.

  “We are only five gold short, if you have the money give it to us” Helga growled.

  “What do I get?” I replied. “You already owe me a romp in the hay, what more could you possibly give me? Although if both of you were to swear to me that if you ever go into your former profession that I could get freebies then I could manage giving you the 5 gold along with an extra five so you can get a place to sleep tonight”.

  Helga looked at me pissed but nodded along with Tabitha as I handed them five gold each. As is I was only left with five gold but it would be alright. I climbed on the boat along with my companions as soon as we were all on I felt a tremor followed by a flash of light. This was a gyp I thought as the so called boat just transported us across the sea and into the main game. We were left standing on a dock, the ship nowhere in sight but we were in the real game!

  CHAPTER 3

  The Prisoner King or Me and my big mouth.

  We quickly found our way around this town, Seafarin it was called and settled down at the only inn available. I could tell the difference right away between here and Mandalo, there were way more people and they had interesting names like TwatThrasher3000 and Saltyballs19. Everyone here though was at a much higher level than we were, they were at least level 20 while we were both level ten. The inn I stayed at was used as a base of operations by the guild Soldiers of Light and apparently they all served one of the goddesses of the Light Pantheon, Solara. They were talking over their last minute plans to take a small castle owned by someone called Jokesonyou. Apparently this guy was some youtuber with a premium subscription to the game that had embarrassed the Soldiers who were all regular players into abandoning the castle they worked so hard to build. This guy then bragged about it and put up the toughest shield he could and hired 10 NPC guards to guard the place. I left them to their discussion and reminded Tabitha it was time I got my payment. They both looked at me disgusted but they paid up alright and it could have been just because the view was better but I had a hell of a time. It only lasted 30 or so minutes compared with the hour I had with the other two but I was not complaining. Afterwards I left them to whatever it was they had to do, I doubted I would see them again now they were in the main game and walked back downstairs and noticed it was getting visibly more crowded by the minute. I counted 3 other guilds in attendance now, each of them were waiting for 0450 am Pacific Time before they would attempt to take back the castle. Apparently they were waiting for that Jokes guy to jump on youtube like he always did after playing the game. As soon as he started streaming another player would jump on then the fight w
ould be on. Apparently their main concern was the shield around the place, which had 500,000 hit points. Every minute that passed the shield refreshed itself 10,000 hit points to repair any damage, at least that’s what I was overheard. The guild had tried to take back the castle before but they were not strong enough, this time they hired NPC mercenaries, regular player mercenaries and had called in multiple favors to get other small guilds. That is when I had to open my big fat mouth.

  “I can help take down that shield for a price” I said speaking over everyone to a man that was obviously in charge. He was a mage draped in white and gold and had the name OEF2010, probably a reference to the war fought 40 years ago. He scanned me, then dismissed me as he saw I was just a level ten while he was a level 20. “Hey don’t be like that, you said you needed everyone to do their part, if I help take the shield down quickly, I want 1000 gold for my trouble. If I fail then you don’t have to pay me, what do you have to lose?”

  “Aww Hank let the kid get a piece of this too” said an older man with a warrior build, named ScreamingEagle2013, also with a white and gold color scheme. I could tell he must had specialized his build, human warriors went either Knight which was the Tank class or Marauder which were damage specialist. The guy who was sticking up for me was the former. “I just wanna stick it to that brat on the computer, we could use all the help we can get. Kid just stick by me, my group is going to assault the barrier shield and try to not get picked apart by that bastards archers he has on the wall. If you survive then good for you, you can help us celebrate. If you die just try to hurry back, there are no respawn points anywhere around here, all of those who die get sent to Precision which is a good hike away from here”.

  I nodded and waited around with everyone and noticed I had been scanned no less than fifty times, many laughed at a mage being on the front lines but I knew something they didn’t. My staff worked on anything with life points, it would take me 19 hits to bring the shield down without factoring in its regeneration, but with 30 of the 50 players gathered on the frontlines I liked my chances, not to mention the ten NPC mercenaries. The time came as a woman ran through the door, her outfit was white and gold and she carried a long bow and looked like she knew what to do with it. We all headed out slowly out of town, apparently the stronghold was not far away and was hidden in the forest in front of a cliff which made anything but a frontal assault impossible and the terrain wouldn’t allow it. I joined up my party with three NPC mercenaries and waited for the signal. When it was given the other players sprinted ahead like mad men, their pace greatly outmatching mine with my stupid Team Player skill. I saw them run then stop as if they had collided with an invisible wall, then the real battle started. I could see the shield flicker every time it was struck, it was a blue and dome shaped and was taking a pounding. I could tell before I got there that this attack could work, they would eventually whittle the shield away if everything was perfect, however once the archers came to the wall, that’s when the trouble started. You can rent NPC guards, they were pricey and always at a level lower than those who bought them. These archers were level 40’s and they started picking people off faster than the mages could heal them. I made my to the wall finally as it just refreshed, leaving the wall with 489,000 life points. I readied my staff as one of my NPC party members was killed and swung. The shield rattled violently and turned and angrier shade of blue. I hit the damn thing again and smiled a bit, this thing was way easier than hitting a live target. I watched another NPC party member fall and got off two more hits, sending the shield a little under 30,000 life points.

  “Protect the kid!” I heard someone yell as I could feel all kinds of buffs being applied to me, most likely from the mages at my back. My stamina bar shot up as a could feel small personal shield being place on me as tank class characters surrounded me and took fire from the archers who had declared me a target. I hit the shield three more times, its life points were at 4000 then it refreshed bringing the total to 14,000. I could hear a yell go as fire and lightning shot over head and impacted the shield, the damage class characters that had been hiding in the back also shot forward as I hit the shield again and again. With an audible pop the shield fell as raiding party poured in and filled the castle. The NPC archers guarding the castle put up a hell of a fight, but in the end the numbers were too great. I was caught up in the moment and ran inside with them to the throne room which locked as soon as OEF2010, ScreamingEagle2013, and I got inside. Jokesonyou was a level 41 Orc Berserker, a warrior class damage dealer and heavily outfitted. Everything on this guy looked like he had money, he had a black color scheme and was heavily armored and carried two swords which he twirled around menacingly.

  “So you old farts finally got this place back huh?” Jokesonyou said as he started walking around the throne room. “That door will last a bit, at least as long as I need to take care of you clowns. When I heard from my spy that you planned on attacking I planned on giving you an hour or so to at least give you a fighting chance, imagine my surprise when I was called in real life saying the shield was down”.

  I didn’t want to hear anything this guy had to say and started chanting out my spell Corroding Rain.

  “A level ten mage is trying to take me down?” Jokesonyou laughed. “You guys are going to get pwned then im going to teleport outta here losers”.

  The rain started coming down just as I accepted a party request from the other two. Jokesonyou laughed at the effect as decaying mist filled the air. I could see his armor starting to corrode as both of my teammates attacked. Jokesonyou batted them aside easily, his life points were more than all of us combined but I suspected it was a result of all the fancy armor he was wearing. Jokesonyou laughed as my two teammates got up off the ground.

  “What about you, do you want a try too?” he said looking at me, his orcish teeth shining in the light. I shrugged and walked over to him and pulled back my staff for a blow as he comically stuck his chin out and pointed to it. “Man I have a guy with a 6 in strength trying to melee with me, this is going to be great, I can’t wait for this to go on youtube he finished as I brought my staff down. He had shock in his eyes and looked surprised as he did not even move giving me another clear shot. After that happened he grabbed ahold of my staff and yanked it away throwing me violently to the ground as his armor started falling to pieces. He held my staff in his hand as it slowly faded away and appeared in mine.

  “That staff is soul bound” I laughed as his little toss had taken away 75% of my health despite it not really being an attack. My two party members charged at this and began laying it on him as I crawled towards the door. Even with no armor and way less health he was still tearing into them as I made my way to the door and struck it. The door buckled a bit as I struck it again. I turned around and could see OEF2010 had been killed with ScreamingEagle2013 at less than twenty percent health. Jokesonyouwas at less than 10% but it was no doubt who would win this fight. I hit the door again as I heard screaming on the other side. Before I could strike again the door blasted open as other guild members poured through, and laid into Jokesonyou, killing him before he could use his teleport scroll.

  “Hey join my party so I can heal you” I heard a voice say as I turned around and was staring at a goblin mage. I accepted his request as a pair of strong hands grabbed me from behind, I could see the goblin pull out a scroll and began chanting something as my vision went white, when I could see I was in a camp of some type, filled with orcs, goblins and there was even a troll present. I tried to shake away from my captors before remembering I could teleport. I went to chant out the spell as the goblin spoke and interrupted me.

  “Sorry for the trick but we had to get you out of there” the goblin said as my other kidnapper released his grip. “We are alike, all of us here are perma players”.

  “How can you tell if I am a perma player?” I wondered, seeing if he knew something I didn’t.

  “Your aura is green, I have an ability that can tell perma players apart from those
who still live” the goblin said as he handed me a health potion. “Now we are known as the Horde, we want you to help us out on raids”.

  I received a request that took me back a bit. A pop up appeared that asked me if I wanted to be guild leader, already the guild had over 30 members, probably all those folks I saw in front of me. I of course accepted, guild members were prohibited from killing each other and I just received an army. If only I had used common sense, if something was too good to be true it probably was. There were three guild elders, each a different race. The goblin I had met was Agony, he was one of the leaders followed by the orc Torment, and the only troll around Ferocity who to my surprise was also the only female in the guild. They outfitted me with the best gear at my level but that was definitely where the perks stopped. They were in the process of building their own stronghold, that is where I would stay. I had tried to walk away but the group would just follow me and bring me back. I could teleport but as guild leader they would have found me in an instant. I tried to leave the guild but the rules made it impossible, as guild master I could only kick people out but the parameters were set that I needed at least one vote from a guild elder which they would not give. The worse part about everything though was the food.

  Apparently once your race changed so did your appetite, the people I was with ate the bodies of killed human enemies, insects and any other animal they could find. They of course fed it to me and for the most part it was absolutely disgusting. Ferocity told me to change my race and it would become more palatable. I stayed in the camp for about two weeks real time when Agony came up to me with a gleam in his beady black goblin eyes.

  “Now guild master, the fight you had with the leaders of the soldiers of light against the Orc Jokesonyou has been well documented” Agony said as I could see the orc torment sneaking up from the back. “We had offered Jokesonyou the head of our guild but he laughed at us, your fight with him opened up some eyes once someone put it on youtube. You have been secretive about your abilities but gold makes human tongues loose. You have the ability to destroy armor and your staff if used correctly takes away half of all life points on a single hit but you cannot wield it as often as you wish. We have to level you up and change your race, we have a job that was given to us by the human guild Fire Stryke, they want to raid a stronghold belonging to someone’s ex-husband”.